The Things I Cannot Say
by TrippleThreatTrio
Summary: The things they couldn't say defined them and segregated them, shackled them and tormented them, unhinged them and freed them. All of them wanted to speak out, but they stayed silent anyway. (string of 5 one-shots, all with different themes/characters) Ch1: Belldandy Ch2: Keiichi Ch3: Urd Ch4: Mara Ch5: Skuld.
1. Chapter 1

(This is a tag-team line of one shots, 5 in total once completed. One person will write a short little scene, and then tag another in the group with a character so that they may do one as well.)

 **Paula:** Since this was my idea, I get to go first. Just because I feel totally bitchy, I'm tagging Corbin next. I'm assigning him Keiichi.

 **This scene is:** M rated, Belldandy centric, and romantically inclined. I like erotica, you have been warned.

 **Things I Cannot Say:  
Act 1:  
** **My Innermost Desire**

By the stars above, she wished her bed wasn't as cold as it seemed.

A contract must always be upheld, and she swore to do strictly that. As a goddess, she bound herself willingly to a simple mortal man. His desires were so few, and ironically innocent. Too innocent for any mortal man facing his destiny. Oh, how she wished he would take her, plundering her depths as only a sinner could, claiming her as his own.

She waited for the day when his resolve cracked under the pressure of true temptation.

Stealing from her any glory, and sundering her sanity into whispers of long held desire, she dreamed of the day she would be his. Then and only then, he would bury his seed into her, marking her as his own and carrying on that long held dream of his. Belldandy waited for that day, desired it with her innermost soul.

Tonight was not that night, not by the will of the stars, or the will of the system that so bound his desire in a trap to end all glorifying traps.

She bit her lip as she pleasured herself late into the dead of night, afraid of crying out. Waking him would only allure his spirit to a much darker realization. The goddess was truly more goddess than the boy would ever know.

She desired to desire,  
desired to be desired in return,  
the heavens and the earth would hear of no greater calling than this man, and his power to made even a deity surrender to his will.

She was a vixen, not that he would ever know that. She wanted him to take her, destroy and rend her, until she was spent from both inhibition. It wasn't for a lack of wanting or trying, it was that she loved him. She loved him too much to hurt him, too much to take him for herself, and too much to dirty his wish with her own primal needs as cold as time itself.

Every time a bolt of pleasure shot through her, she nearly cried out to him, dreaming of feeling his body rocking against hers. She couldn't wait for the day that she could straddle him, mounting him, gifting to him her body in every single way, and taking from him everything in return.

He was a virgin, of this she knew, and that spurred her further in her assault on the bundle of nerves that made her wet and wanting. Oh, gods only knew what he would do if he saw her, legs spread, two digits pounding into her own aching chasm trying to take the edge off.

The system that governed her would have none of that!

Every time she tried to call for him, her voice became mute, the contract forcing her desires quiet, and unknown to any mortal who might have guessed. She was a woman, the system be damned, and even kept under lock and key, desire could still fight against its chains.

Orgasm would be hers, even if she had to achieve it herself.

Oh, she was sure of the absolute suffering the man would endure if he'd even glimpsed the sight of her now. Naked and thrashing upon the futon. Her starving womanhood begged for satiation, and be it god, man, or devil, any who'd look upon this sigh would be drawn in, blinded by the beauty of the goddess that desired so much, receiving so little.

It had been too long since she'd taken a lover, too long since she felt the warm seed of such a man warm and velvety inside of her, and Keiichi was too much a gentleman to barge, pin her top the floor and make her forget why heaven had such laws in the first place.

Her fingers could not mimic that of a lover in need of her touch, but by the gods, she wished they could. She wished, as she concealed a moan, that it was Keiichi thrusting his length into her, making her cry out as she tangled her limbs with his.

Following his steady call, culminating all of the desire a mortal man might have, with the stamina of a goddess to bring out those desires, and see them unquestionably granted. Quenching both want and need, just as water itself quenched thirst.

She needed that, just as she needed to hear his voice, rough and ragged with each breath. Belldandy didn't need to have a loud lover, lewd and boorish, pounding senselessly into her. Gods of creation knew though, she needed that lover to be a powerful one. A lover willing to make her shudder with each caress, and aching with every single movement of his hips against her own.

Flowing freely like the sea, steady and as varied as the moon's call. Stormy with passions that once spent, would haunt their shared dreams, leaving them wanting upon wakefulness.

Yet this was not the night.

She kept from crying out, her arousal dripping out into the futon as she sighed out a harsh and heavy breath, spent but not entirely satisfied.

She'd sleep alone this night, like many nights before, wanting and waiting for him, a lover not destined to know.


	2. Chapter 2

**Corbin:** I've tagged Britt, and assigned her with Urd.

 **This scene is:** T rated, Keiichi centric, introspective

 **Things I Cannot Say:  
Act 2  
Only Human**

He promised he'd quit after he met her. She didn't like him doing things that poisoned his body. It didn't matter to him one way or the other, just as long as she stayed by his side.

So, he threw away his cigarettes.

Then he had a nicotine fit. The cravings were killer, the stress got to him, and he yelled. He yelled as he had never yelled before, refusing to eat his dinner, and locking himself in his room for the remainder of the night.

He was guilty as hell, the shock of his temper bothering even himself. He knew he could get frustrated easily sometimes, it's why he started smoking in the first place, and then tried to quit more times than he could count. His anger scared him, and he'd go right back to the nicotine.

He hadn't been an angry kid, and he knew if he gave it time, things would work out of his system…but that didn't stop his fear.

Belldandy was strong in her conviction though, stronger than he'd given her credit for. She didn't leave his side, sitting outside of the door waiting for him to let her in. She was quiet, didn't berate or belittle him, or think him worse than scum. She knew the truth already.

He was only human, and sometimes, he would be prone to vices.

She would love him anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Britt:** I'm tagging Krissy, and giving her Mara.

 **This scene is:** T rated, Urd centric, a poem

 **Things I Cannot Say:  
Act 3  
Sake**

Between sake drinks and a cloudless sky,  
I'm brought to wonder why I try.  
It's not hate that drives me, it's not love either,  
and it's not about being a goddess, a demon, or even a half-breeder.

It's about looking her in the eyes and seeing all the things that I fear, and I have to wonder at my own capabilities. I'm her daughter, bloodline be damned, as much from hell as I am.

The only thing I can do is curse my fate,  
it's the war of the immortals that I hate.  
I can be angry about it…that I'm not one or the other,  
it's just that I look like my mother.

She's beautiful, demonic, and it's not love that drives her. It's something more than that, I know it from my father. The looks he gives me, leaving me cold and alone, it's not the love of a father, but the pity of a god. The kindness of the heavens, the judgement of everything I don't have the answers for breathing down my neck. Goddess or lord, that's what they fear most, even though I'm the one that carries that burden.

Between sake drinks and a cloudless sky,  
I'm brought to wonder why I try.  
It's not about having an eye for an eye,  
it's about letting go of the memories with a sigh.

Forsaking them with as much alcohol and good prayer as I can even begin to drink, I've got to stop and think. Why does it matter to me so much, that I hold onto Hild like a crutch?

She'd never really hurt me, not by trying,  
in fact, that's the only reason she keeps lying.  
To herself and me,  
that's the way it's got to be.

I know she loves me, she's my mother, so of course she does. It's not possible to hate someone so damned much. We can sit there and slander each other all day, it doesn't change the course of fate, the blood ties we have, or the reason we spew half of the crap that we do.

Between sake drinks and a cloudless sky,  
I'm brought to wonder why I try.  
I remember her words: this is not goodbye,  
but she left me up in heaven, and I never knew why.


	4. Chapter 4

**Krissy:** I'm tagging Jake. He likes Skuld, so that's what I'll give him.

 **This scene is:** T rated, Mara centric, introspective

 **Things I Cannot Say:  
Act 4  
Unfortunate Dream**

There was nothing better than a good friend to drink with.

Tipping them back until dawn and bitching about the trivialities of life, nothing could be better. Yeah, sure there was work to be done. Demons all over the world had their fair share of it. No one dared to ignore their duties, though no one said that they couldn't do them drink off their asses either, and Mara liked to drink.

Moreover, Mara liked sake, she liked obliterating common sense and smoking her lungs black with cigarettes. If she didn't do it a few times a week than the world would be fucked, because Mara was harmless until she was pissed. If she was pissed, she left everyone know about it. Thankfully, it takes a long time to raise her ire that far, and she enjoyed pranks more than she enjoyed senseless violence.

Mara was a demon though, and she made no bones about it. She liked to sin, to hate, and bend greed her own way, contorting it on a long coil of her own denial and ill-repute.

That's why it was better to drink with a good friend.

Even if that good friend was a goddess, even when that friend threw her under the bus for reasons that Mara couldn't wrap her head around. Even then, it was better to drink together, rather than drink alone.

If that friend of hers was a demon, then things would go splendidly. Mara wanted that day to come, waited for it for so long that she'd forgotten how many decades had passed. If she had to, she would corrupt every mortal on the planet, if she thought that would make her own wish come true.

She could just imagine it.

They'd drink till dawn, rip at each-other with backhanded barbs and low-blow insults. They'd be the tag team dynamic duo, unparalleled and unrivaled. Even the darkest of demons and vilest of devils would nod their heads in reverence.

"Mara, you okay over there?"

"Yeah, I'm fine ya damn goddess. Pour me another fucking drink over here!"

It wasn't meant to be though, as they sipped their sake together casting insults across the room. Urd was a goddess through and through, and Mara's dream would never be more than that.

An unfortunate little dream.


	5. Chapter 5

**Jake:** Looks like I'm bringing the rear, this is the end of the 5 shot stories.

 **This scene is:** T rated, Skuld centric, and about sisterhood.

 **Things I Cannot Say:  
Act 5  
I Admire You**

It's always the little things that matter the most. Like ice cream on a hot sunny day, or fighting over the television set. Things like that, they don't matter in the long run, but at that time they mean everything.

Those are the things I should be thankful for.

They're things _I am_ thankful for, I would just never say it out loud.

Belldandy is easy to admire, she's easy to get along with. She's a people pleaser. Oh, it's not that I mind. It's just hard to relate to that. It's not because she's a first class goddess. It's because, well, Belldandy is a good person.

I always say that I want to be just like my big sister. I think because I cling onto Belldandy so much, they assume that it's her. I mean, why wouldn't they?

I _do_ want to be like her, I think everyone does. I don't think that's strange, either.

It's just that Urd and I, we're not all that different. I'm more like her than I am Belldandy. I just relate better with her. I don't try to, it just happens. Urd and I click in a way that Belldandy and I never could.

She's beautiful too, just like Belldandy, but she's a different kind of beautiful.  
I'm a different kind of beautiful as well.

Belldandy always has her life in order, she's organized, and most of all, she's calm.  
Urd and I live in chaos, our lives are a total mess, and so is my room but digressing that, our minds are always going. They never turn off.  
We think all the time, and, we let our insecurities rule over our desperate wishes.

Big sis just isn't like that...

Belldandy is just too perfect, Urd and I can't measure up. It's because we both secretly admire her, that's why we push each other so hard. We fight all the time, and I know Belldandy hates when we do. Some part of her understands. She lets us fight, and almost encourages it.

Like it's some sort of game or something, although I guess sometimes it is.

That's why Urd and I can fight over the television again today. That's why I can fling a spoon full of strawberry ice cream smack dab into the middle of Urd's face. That's why she can curse and fling spells at me, while Belldandy just sits there and continues to knit.

When she finally does nail me with one, well, I'll go and hide behind Belldandy and tell Urd that I hate her. I always do, but I think Urd knows me better than that by now.

I really do admire her, it's just that,  
well,  
I'm a lot like her as well.

I'm just too proud to ever say it to her face, but I admire Urd just as much as I admire Belldandy,  
maybe,  
even more.


End file.
